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Head To The Nearest Red Lobster

April 30th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

link King crabs invade Antarctica.

Pessimists everywhere.  Recently, in our town, a restaurant held a special on king crab at the tempting price of only $16.80 per pound.  So for a 10 pound crab fest, it would set the diners back $168, plus of course, other dishes, taxes and tip.  Needless to say, this delicacy can be made much more affordable to the masses if only the product were more plentiful.  Well whaddya know, word comes now that a virtual geyser of king crabs are making an appearance in Antarctica.  How does the media react to this potential culinary bonanza?  What else, with hand wringing over global warming!

If it were reported that the amount of king crabs taken off the Alaska coastline were declining, these same idiots would be moaning about global warming causing their demise.  The remaining hard core constituency who continually bleat about global warming being at the root of every weather, environmental and natural anomaly are pushing their credibility not just on their views,  but on their very sanity.  It may have been fashionable years ago to be riding the global warming bandwagon along with the movie stars, singers and political poobahs.  But that bandwagon has lost it’s cachet and resembles an oxcart now that saner people have scrutinized the laughable claims.  Try this the next time somebody starts speaking on a global warming issue on TV.  Turn off the sound.  Without even knowing what they are actually talking about, they will all have that crazed look about them.  You know we’re talking about you Al.  The spokesmen for this ’cause’ increasingly resemble snake oil salesmen hawking electric dog polishers on late night television infomercials.  Only twirly moustaches on these people would make it more obvious.

What if whales starting showing up in bunches in Antarctica?  Long regarded as noble, lovable and of course endangered creatures, their supposed declining numbers have been documented for decades.  What if they started congregating in large numbers, eating up valuable krill and endangering shipping routes?  At what point would the nutters say, “hmm, maybe we should eat some of those guys”?  A little while ago, another study sounded the alarm that there were fewer bees around.  Apart from how they even were able to count them, what is the link to global warming?  Why are shortages of bees and an abundance of crabs both not good?  What if we had a shortage of king crabs and an excess of bees?  Surely they both play some role in the complex ecosystem?

You can’t stop the deranged from believing what they believe.  Sane people however, can turn a deaf ear to their moaning.  And get ready to eat some cheap king crab.  Maybe global warming will also cause a bountiful burgundy grape harvest in the Bordeaux region.  No whining then I’d bet.