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Choices Galore

July 22nd, 2014 No comments

link With liberals pining for a Clinton challenger, ambitious Democrats get in position – The Washington Post.

And so the farce continues.  Anxious to show that the Democratic buffet has more than just Hilary to serve, they are pushing possible contenders to be alternate menu items to the devoted faithful.  As of now, the choices are, leftover meatloaf, pemican or a pick of a duo of mixed nuts.

The only thing delicious about this tortured analogy is the irony since there is nothing on the Democratic table that is remotely fresh or new considering that the barb most often hurled at the Republican party is that they are the party of old white men.

Like most positions that emanate from the Democratic party, their presumptive candidates are hopelessly out of touch and lost in the past.  Clinton, Warren and Brown are relics of the hippie past in America, holdouts from the 60′s in their mindsets and worldviews.  Biden, if he is a contender, is a relic of Archie comics.   These people have as much in common with the sensibilities of  the present generation of voters  as head does to head cheese.  The fact that the party is unable to attract anyone to be their standard bearer who isn’t already collecting a seniors’ pension is very telling.  The contrast with the core values of the party of “old white men” couldn’t be more stark.

Whereas one party harps on the tired core values of entitlement and fantasy, the other party has a plethora of young capable leaders whose visions have an arm’s reach connection with reality.  Most could be the children of the aged Dem candidates.  Many have already proven their talents in actually running state governments with effective results whereas on the Dem side, most of them are professional politicos.  There is enough range in the positions of those on the Republican side that there is not just one tired monolithic message that followers are obligated to subscribe to as if in a moonie cult.

If I were looking to dine at the Democratic buffet table, I’m not sure I’d be all that excited about the addition of Jerry Brown to the offerings.  The stuff that’s on the table now has been there a long time, some of it passed over and adding more leftovers doesn’t make it more attractive.  Of course that doesn’t mean that there’s no appetite for this.  America loves buffets.  It perpetuates the myth that you can get a lot for very little.

Now You Know

July 16th, 2014 No comments

link The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America Pictures – Derringers | Rolling Stone.

It appears as if there’s an entire community of aspiring ASiF writers out there.  With so many true but bizarre events transpiring these days, it’s often hard to discern actual reporting from editorial from satire.  The classic Karl Marx quote is that history repeats itself first as a tragedy, then as a farce.

If the offerings of popular media are any indication of where we are in Marx’s continuum of history, then it’s likely culture and society have moved into the farce stage.  In a recent study by the Brookings Institution and the Public Religion Research Institute, Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central’s eponymously named show is considered a more reliable news source than MSNBC.  Of course that’s a low bar, but the implications of that are astounding.

On any given day in popular media, there’s always front page coverage of The Life Of Kim, the top 5 beach bodies, the top hunkiest actors, or the most recently rumored Apple device.  Media has become a resource for 12 year old girls.  Rolling Stone for years has tried to present itself as the cool rag of the leftist intelligentsia and in truth, they’ve had some good articles when Matt Taibbi was on board.  With this article on the five deadliest guns, they have truly jumped the shark and abandoned any pretense of intellectual reportage.

Fortunately, there seems to be a contingent of people out there who get it.  It is within the comments section to this piece where the most entertaining snippets lie.  Actually, there’s plenty of fodder there for future columns.  For those too lazy to click on the link, here are some real gems:

The 5 Most Dangerous Marx Brothers:

Five most common vehicles used by drunk drivers:
1. SUV’s.
2. Pick up trucks.
3. Sedans
4. Coupes.
5. Minivans

Five Most Dangerous Rock Bands

5) Rick Derringer
4) L.A. Guns
3) Guns ‘n Roses
2) Shotgun Messiah
1) The Beatles during the recording of “Revolver”

Five most dangerous seasons:
5. Rabbit Season
4. Duck Season
3. Rabbit Season
2. Rabbit Season
1. Duck Season….

And for the global warming crowd:

100% chance you will die if you drink water
100% chance you will die if you breathe Oxygen

We’re going to get these guys on staff.


Tiffany Men

July 1st, 2014 No comments

link Bachelorette Sneak Peek: Is Nick Playing Games? | Video – ABC News.

There has always been the long running debate about whether life imitates art or whether art is an accurate reflection of life.  Dear sweet Jesus, let’s hope that no one out there really thinks that shows such as The Bachelorette have even the most tenuous connection to reality.  The plotline of The Hobbit is more believable than the embarrassingly vapid plot lines in this series.

The premise of the show is that a multitude of ‘virile’ and eligible males vy for the attention and eventual heart and hand of a single woman.  To my knowledge, if this were to happen in real life, there would be appointments involved as well as hours of operation and state laws to consider.  As part of the TV program however, the heroine’s choice is aided by the characters being sent off to  exotic places, doing fun things and having deep meaningful conversations about professed love.  In other words, the gal may as well be dating 12 year old girls.

If a drinking game were to be created in which a shot of tequila is taken every time a version of the word ‘feeling’ is uttered, viewers would be slurring Spanish within the first half of the show.  This may be news to girls out there, but whenever most men use the f word; “feelings”, it’s either contrived for a TV show, or in the context of a horse that’s running in the third race at the local track.

Not that we aren’t romantics.  Just the opposite.  In real life, connecting with that certain someone is very difficult and elusive.  It could happen as a result of a brief glance across a crowded room.  It could be from an unexpected gesture.   It could be in the way someone carries themselves in stressful circumstances.

It is not, as portrayed by TV shows and modern culture, like choosing from a selection of coiffed men as if they were in a Tiffany’s jewelry case.  Despite the inexorable march of our consumer society which begets instant gratification and limitless comparison shopping, the connection between people is still based on good old fashioned chemistry.  It’s there or it isn’t.  If you have to go to Belgium, ride cable cars, skydive etc. etc. to uncover that chemistry, it ain’t there.  You don’t discover someone’s true character when things are good.  You discover it when things are bad.  The stuff on TV only guarantees that the characters will find fun playmates.