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The Al And Jesse Medicine Show

August 19th, 2014 No comments

link Ferguson Protests: Rev. Jesse Jackson Leads Demonstrators Through City Hours After Clashes With Police.

This is like the old Ghostbusters theme song.  When a racial riot breaks out, “who ya gonna call?” RACEBAITERS!  Jackson and Sharpton of course.  In fairness, I’m not sure anyone put out a call to either one of them, like the bat signal at the first sign of possible racial conflict.  Both of these hustlers can smell a race conflict from all the way across the country like a bloodhound sniffs body odor.  They probably have a google app which searches for this stuff.

Even the local Missouri blacks embroiled in the ‘demonstration’ are asking “who called y’all?” Jackson may have lost some style points when he passed around a collection plate after his speech; old habits and all that.  The days when Jackson and Sharpton purport to speak on behalf of, or “lead” aggrieved blacks have long disappeared along with elaborate afros.  In fact, the only contingent that perpetuates and legitimizes their existence is the media.  It’s preposterous to report that the views of either one of these hustlers is representative of a nation of 40 million black people.  It’s as if the opinions of Charlie Sheen were sought out after a controversial death of a white person.

It never even dawns upon the media that to accept and propagate the views of the irrelevant reverends is racist in itself.  Why don’t they seek the opinions of Thomas Sowell or Ben Carson or Condaleeza Rice?  While media loves to push the narrative of a divisive racial society, they in fact actively promote the assumption of single mindedness among blacks, treating them as if they were an homogenous segment and not individuals, the very definition of racism.

So in Missouri, we have a crime incident, sad of course, but essentially local, blown up into an international racial conflagration by the combination of a lazy and sensationalist media, noted hustlers and a naïve public.  No less than Ban Ki-Moon, the secretary general of the U.N. has asked for the U.S. government to protect free demonstrations.  The U.N.; can’t make that up.  On the same day of this incident, there were 25 to 30 shootings, mainly of blacks, in Chicago.  There’s even a website that maps the incidents;

shootings in Chicago

That kind of stuff is old hat in Chicago and barely gets any righteous indignation any more.  It certainly doesn’t sell papers.  In Missouri, they’re supposed to be more skeptical of things and not be gullible to spurious news. You’d expect more from the ‘show me’ state.

 

Now You Know

July 16th, 2014 No comments

link The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America Pictures – Derringers | Rolling Stone.

It appears as if there’s an entire community of aspiring ASiF writers out there.  With so many true but bizarre events transpiring these days, it’s often hard to discern actual reporting from editorial from satire.  The classic Karl Marx quote is that history repeats itself first as a tragedy, then as a farce.

If the offerings of popular media are any indication of where we are in Marx’s continuum of history, then it’s likely culture and society have moved into the farce stage.  In a recent study by the Brookings Institution and the Public Religion Research Institute, Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central’s eponymously named show is considered a more reliable news source than MSNBC.  Of course that’s a low bar, but the implications of that are astounding.

On any given day in popular media, there’s always front page coverage of The Life Of Kim, the top 5 beach bodies, the top hunkiest actors, or the most recently rumored Apple device.  Media has become a resource for 12 year old girls.  Rolling Stone for years has tried to present itself as the cool rag of the leftist intelligentsia and in truth, they’ve had some good articles when Matt Taibbi was on board.  With this article on the five deadliest guns, they have truly jumped the shark and abandoned any pretense of intellectual reportage.

Fortunately, there seems to be a contingent of people out there who get it.  It is within the comments section to this piece where the most entertaining snippets lie.  Actually, there’s plenty of fodder there for future columns.  For those too lazy to click on the link, here are some real gems:

The 5 Most Dangerous Marx Brothers:
Groucho
Chico
Harpo
Zeppo
Karl

Five most common vehicles used by drunk drivers:
1. SUV’s.
2. Pick up trucks.
3. Sedans
4. Coupes.
5. Minivans

Five Most Dangerous Rock Bands

5) Rick Derringer
4) L.A. Guns
3) Guns ‘n Roses
2) Shotgun Messiah
1) The Beatles during the recording of “Revolver”

Five most dangerous seasons:
5. Rabbit Season
4. Duck Season
3. Rabbit Season
2. Rabbit Season
1. Duck Season….

And for the global warming crowd:

100% chance you will die if you drink water
100% chance you will die if you breathe Oxygen

We’re going to get these guys on staff.

 

Tiffany Men

July 1st, 2014 No comments

link Bachelorette Sneak Peek: Is Nick Playing Games? | Video – ABC News.

There has always been the long running debate about whether life imitates art or whether art is an accurate reflection of life.  Dear sweet Jesus, let’s hope that no one out there really thinks that shows such as The Bachelorette have even the most tenuous connection to reality.  The plotline of The Hobbit is more believable than the embarrassingly vapid plot lines in this series.

The premise of the show is that a multitude of ‘virile’ and eligible males vy for the attention and eventual heart and hand of a single woman.  To my knowledge, if this were to happen in real life, there would be appointments involved as well as hours of operation and state laws to consider.  As part of the TV program however, the heroine’s choice is aided by the characters being sent off to  exotic places, doing fun things and having deep meaningful conversations about professed love.  In other words, the gal may as well be dating 12 year old girls.

If a drinking game were to be created in which a shot of tequila is taken every time a version of the word ‘feeling’ is uttered, viewers would be slurring Spanish within the first half of the show.  This may be news to girls out there, but whenever most men use the f word; “feelings”, it’s either contrived for a TV show, or in the context of a horse that’s running in the third race at the local track.

Not that we aren’t romantics.  Just the opposite.  In real life, connecting with that certain someone is very difficult and elusive.  It could happen as a result of a brief glance across a crowded room.  It could be from an unexpected gesture.   It could be in the way someone carries themselves in stressful circumstances.

It is not, as portrayed by TV shows and modern culture, like choosing from a selection of coiffed men as if they were in a Tiffany’s jewelry case.  Despite the inexorable march of our consumer society which begets instant gratification and limitless comparison shopping, the connection between people is still based on good old fashioned chemistry.  It’s there or it isn’t.  If you have to go to Belgium, ride cable cars, skydive etc. etc. to uncover that chemistry, it ain’t there.  You don’t discover someone’s true character when things are good.  You discover it when things are bad.  The stuff on TV only guarantees that the characters will find fun playmates.