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Prezzo D’Amore

October 2nd, 2014 No comments

link George Clooney and Amal Alamuddins wedding cost £8m – Telegraph.

Eight million pounds sterling is almost 13 million US dollars based on recent exchange rates.  Think about that.  $13 million dollars…for a wedding.  That’s approaching Rap star money.   In truth, we have no idea how this number was arrived at, since who would actually know?  Of course the ‘lucky’ father of the bride will have bills of some kind, the hotel, the food, maybe the dress and of course the booze bill.  If we take at face value the estimated count of high profile guests at the wedding which apparently hovers at around 100, that means that each person’s attendance cost somewhere in the neighborhood of between $100,000 to $130,000 apiece.

They must be good friends.  But how does that even possibly add up? We’ll assume George sprung for the odd water taxi and picked up the occasional bar tab.  So that leaves a lot of money thrown around for the guests and their comfort on the grand occasion.  Having first hand knowledge of the extortionate prices in Venice for everything involving food and fun, it still stretches credibility that the $13 million tab can be accurate.  It makes good headlines; who wants to say that it was a $50,000 wedding?

But let’s just say the number is accurate and the father of the bride gets stuck with the bill that resembles a telephone number.  That’s a lot of money to pay to get rid of a daughter, even if it is to arguably the world’s most eligible bachelor George Clooney.  Based on what’s known about the bride, Amal Alamuddin, she seems to be more the catch!  She’s young, an accomplished lawyer, attractive and obviously from a wealthy family.  George…well George is an actor… a good and famous one of course, but…to spend $13 million to get the deal done?  Seems molto costoso to us.

 

 

Kim: Been There Done That

September 2nd, 2014 No comments

link Jennifer Lawrence Nude Photos Leak: Ariana Grande, Kirsten Dunst also Exposed | Variety.

Finally, some real news.  Although, as the old saying goes, this story is worthless without pictures.  It appears that ‘celebrities’ are shocked and indignant that nude photos of themselves have been hacked from their computers and cell phones and distributed to the full view of the public.  We don’t mean to sound callous; I suppose I would be aghast if birthday suit images of me were circulating around cyberspace.  Except for the fact that there aren’t any.  Even if there were, I’d be horribly embarrassed because of the remarkable resemblance to Pee Wee Herman.

In the case of the various ‘celebrities’ offended by the invasion of privacy, isn’t being naked or near naked part of the stock in trade of the business they’re in? In addition, they generally look good naked, unlike the mass of the oglers out here who can only look upon their images with leering envy.

“But it’s a privacy issue!” someone will exclaim indignantly, “People have the right to have their personal images kept private!”  Yes, that’s all true….in the theoretical fantasy land that most of these people inhabit.  In that world, no one should lie, steal, cheat at cards, or throw cigarette butts from cars.  In that world, only organically, sustainable chickens are eaten, toilet seats are always down and the minimum wage is $15 per hour for the poor folk.

No one finds it strange that people who cultivate their personal appearances as an integral, if not the only aspect of their livelihood are offended by people having glimpses of it?  This would be comparable to Al Gore getting all  upset about an image of himself with his mouth open.  In the case of Kate Upton or Jennifer Lawrence,  the 1% of their bodies that may be newly exposed to the public is hardly a big shock.   Celebrities are not the only ones guilty of naivete however when it comes to anything to do with cyberspace.  The very notion that images sent back on forth over the internet can be protected and private is as laughable as the notion of a no peeing section of a swimming pool.  Do people not understand that it’s geeks that created, populate and operate the internet?  Do they really think that geeks aren’t going to find ANY possible way to look at naked women?

Oddly still, many of these celebrities are more concerned about pictures of themselves, which may cause some embarrassment, but are not the least concerned about  making vapid utterances on weighty topics which will most certainly embarrass them.  Reality bites.

 

Now You Know

July 16th, 2014 No comments

link The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America Pictures – Derringers | Rolling Stone.

It appears as if there’s an entire community of aspiring ASiF writers out there.  With so many true but bizarre events transpiring these days, it’s often hard to discern actual reporting from editorial from satire.  The classic Karl Marx quote is that history repeats itself first as a tragedy, then as a farce.

If the offerings of popular media are any indication of where we are in Marx’s continuum of history, then it’s likely culture and society have moved into the farce stage.  In a recent study by the Brookings Institution and the Public Religion Research Institute, Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central’s eponymously named show is considered a more reliable news source than MSNBC.  Of course that’s a low bar, but the implications of that are astounding.

On any given day in popular media, there’s always front page coverage of The Life Of Kim, the top 5 beach bodies, the top hunkiest actors, or the most recently rumored Apple device.  Media has become a resource for 12 year old girls.  Rolling Stone for years has tried to present itself as the cool rag of the leftist intelligentsia and in truth, they’ve had some good articles when Matt Taibbi was on board.  With this article on the five deadliest guns, they have truly jumped the shark and abandoned any pretense of intellectual reportage.

Fortunately, there seems to be a contingent of people out there who get it.  It is within the comments section to this piece where the most entertaining snippets lie.  Actually, there’s plenty of fodder there for future columns.  For those too lazy to click on the link, here are some real gems:

The 5 Most Dangerous Marx Brothers:
Groucho
Chico
Harpo
Zeppo
Karl

Five most common vehicles used by drunk drivers:
1. SUV’s.
2. Pick up trucks.
3. Sedans
4. Coupes.
5. Minivans

Five Most Dangerous Rock Bands

5) Rick Derringer
4) L.A. Guns
3) Guns ‘n Roses
2) Shotgun Messiah
1) The Beatles during the recording of “Revolver”

Five most dangerous seasons:
5. Rabbit Season
4. Duck Season
3. Rabbit Season
2. Rabbit Season
1. Duck Season….

And for the global warming crowd:

100% chance you will die if you drink water
100% chance you will die if you breathe Oxygen

We’re going to get these guys on staff.