Is Pushy Hag Better?

March 20th, 2014 No comments

link Sheryl Sandberg leans in on ‘bossy’ – Style – The Boston Globe.

As western culture moves further towards proving that names do in fact hurt just as much as sticks and stones, the real crisis developing now is the elimination of descriptive words and letters from common English usage.  For the record, anyone who has ever had to endure the onslaught of sticks and stones knows that a session of name calling, no matter how intense, is just not quite the same level of hurt. Just sayin’.

As society morphs into becoming a civilization of 12 year old girls, numerous words have been banished from polite and acceptable use over the years.  We know that the ‘F’ word is verboten, as are the ‘C’ word, the ‘N’ word and now, according to Sheryl Sandberg, we add the ‘B’ word.  Of course there was a ‘B’ word before, similar in intent, but that word can now be used interchangeably with this new ‘B’ word, ‘bossy’.  If this keeps up, people may have to resort to combinations of clicks, pops and hand gestures to make derisive descriptions of people.

With the exception of perhaps the ‘N’ word, most of the words that are deemed too offensive to use have references to women.  Apparently, there are differences between men and women after all.  It appears that men have thicker skin.  Men don’t seem to have any restrictions as to what words can or cannot be applied to them.  For instance, the most common epithet may be the ‘A’ word.  It’s not been my experience that men burst into tears and eat a carton of ice cream because they are labeled an ‘A’.  In fact, when you attach the ‘F’ word in front of the ‘A’ word as an added descriptor, that wouldn’t even cause an extra blink for most men.   Men seem to be able to label other men with any word they want, the ‘J’ word, the ‘P’ word, the ‘D’ word, or any combination of words preceded by the ‘F’ word used as an adjective or as an adverb.

The use of mean words to describe people has been around since the first caveman added  ‘-ly’ to ugh.  In fact, most of the time, there’s probably some basis for the choice perjorative. Of course with the evolution of civilization,  sticks and stones aren’t always at the ready, so  it’s far more pragmatic to hurl a familiar slag at someone than a rock.  While admittedly, resorting to the most crude and common epithets shows an unconscionable lack of imagination, not everyone has the time to think up brilliant descriptors.  Perhaps that’s the worst crime of all; with all the rich literary resources available today, people still use cheap, dull insults.

But it’s a slippery slope when an overly sensitive culture banishes otherwise benign words into the abyss.  The list of words that are assigned verboten status only tends to make them more powerful. Ironically, what typically happens is that people will find other more oblique substitutes for the same word.  In ancient China, it was very dangerous for artists and poets to insult the Emperor directly, so instead elaborate allegories and veiled references were employed in writings that were critical of the Emperor.  In the end, the people always got the last laugh on the pompous rulers.  If you ask me, that’s still preferable to having sticks and stones hurled at you.


Don’t Make Us Send Joe…

March 18th, 2014 No comments

link Biden Arrives in Europe to Reassure Allies –

By now of course, Russia’s Vladimir Putin has firmly secured his grip on Crimea, that southern chunk of the Ukraine that is coveted for its strategic geographic locale.  While this did occur ostensibly with the full approval of the Crimean residents with a convincing 95% approval vote and without the necessity of firing even one shot from the Russians, the posting of 60,000 troops at the borders may have been a bit of an influence.

Ukrainians who may be somewhat averse to the possibility of the entire nation being pulled back into the grip of the Russian Bear are feeling just a bit lonely here. It’s as if their erstwhile political buddies disappeared like frat boys at a seedy bar when the big guy at the corner table stands up and bellows “hey you!” in their direction.

On the face of it, sending the second-in-command of the most powerful nation on earth to assuage the percolating fears of the European states appears to be a strong message to both the Europeans as well as to the Russians.  If this were Dick Cheney, definitely. But this is Joe Biden.  Was Pee Wee Herman not available?

Hopefully, Plugs has brought with him an arsenal of strong words and lots of chalk because he’ll need it when Putin keeps walking across the chalk line that Biden dares him to cross over.  This is the equivalent of sending Gilligan to threaten Goldfinger.  We can imagine the Europeans figuratively checking his luggage for guns.  “What? No guns? You brought no guns?”  Joe replies, “We’re civilized, we don’t do that anymore.  We’ll hit him with the finger waggle.”

What seems to be playing out here is the battle between the rule of law, as it’s believed in the West, versus the rule of the jungle, which is how the rest of the world operates.  It’s like the idiot pedestrians who are so confident that the rule of law will protect them at crosswalks that they blithely walk into the path of ‘rule-breaking cars’.   Joe Biden is going to tell the Europeans that they are in the right and that will protect them against Vlad’s dash through the crosswalk in his SUV.  Yeah, good luck with that.





Guilt By Guacamole

March 10th, 2014 No comments

link Chipotle Warns It Might Stop Serving Guacamole If Climate Change Gets Worse | ThinkProgress.

Of all the spurious reasons to join the march of the Global Warming parade with the deluded idiots, at least this one has the potential for mass outrage.  Whereas for most people, the odd missing penguin, scarce butterfly or dwindling owl population may be somewhat abstract, the thought of missing out on a main food group, Mexican, is unthinkable.

If you removed avocados from the mix in offerings at Mexican restaurants, what would you be left with?  Tomatoes, beans, cheese, beef, chicken and pork.  That may as well be Italian food.  Or if you take out beans and use chopsticks, it’s Chinese food. We can see where this would cause serious social upheaval.  If all of a sudden, the Chipotle restaurant chain loses access to avocados, then they are essentially Olive Garden with corn chips.  Why would anyone go to Chipotle when they can get bottomless bread at Olive Garden?

This isn’t about guacamole, it’s about the very survival of culture.  While it’s one thing to have a melting pot nation, when it comes to food, Americans want a smorgasbord of choices.  Nobody wants McOliveLobsterHut.  Whatever we need to do, however high the tax hikes or however much we have to pay to keep guacamole on the menus, let’s do it. Because it’s not just avocados.  It could be tomatoes that next disappear as a result of  Global Warming.  There goes Pizza Hut; there goes Chef Boyardee and you may as well say goodbye to salsa.

Luckily for Chipotle, the chances of avocados disappearing are as probable as eating a no gas burrito.  Good try though.  What they could do is to put images of missing penguins on their drink cups to raise consciousness of global warming.  Missing penguins cute; avocados, not so much.